April Fools
by writer writing
Summary: Lois is pregnant and Clark doesn't like Lois.


"I'm pregnant," Lois said.

Clark's eyes widened and he tried to speak but nothing came out. "W-what?"

"April Fools," she laughed. "Gosh, Smallville, I can't believe you fell for that, but I've never known an April Fools' joke not to work on you."

"What do you expect?" he said more than a little annoyed, as she pushed her way past him into the kitchen. "It's 6:30 in the morning. I haven't had time to think about what day it is and even if I had, I probably still would've believed you because I've never seen you up this early. I would certainly think something was wrong."

"Don't try to rationalize it. It's pure and simple. You're the most gullible person on the planet."

"Is it so wrong to expect people to tell the truth and that wasn't funny by the way. Haven't you heard the story about the boy who cried wolf?"

"Don't worry," Lois said, taking a sip of her freshly-poured coffee. "You have a better chance of becoming pregnant than I do. I can't even remember the last time I—you know actually I do. That's the problem. It—"

"I really don't need to know the details of your love life," he interrupted.

"Speaking of love life, where's Lana?"

"Still asleep. You spilled some coffee on your shirt."

She smiled. "Nice try but you can't fool the master."

"One day, Lois. One day I'm going to get you good."

She drained the last of her coffee and patted his arm sympathetically. "You keep telling yourself that, farm boy."

"Where are you going?" he asked as she opened the door to leave. "You just got here."

"Some people have to work for a living. I just got up a little earlier than normal."

"So you sacrificed some of your sleep time just to torture me?"

"Uh…yeah. It was worth it believe me. You should have seen your face."

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No, I'm going back to the Talon to get it."

"Mind if I tag along? We haven't got to spend a lot of time together lately."

"That was a good one, Smallville. If I was anybody else, that might've worked."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. You've been a regular workaholic and I've been—doing stuff."

She eyed him suspiciously.

"I swear I'm being truthful."

"With God as your witness?" she asked.

"Do you want me to swear on a stack of Bibles?"

"Okay, I believe you."

"I'll just leave Lana a note."

She watched him as he scribbled the note. "How does it feel?" she asked.

He looked at her confused. "Well, I like going to breakfast with you I guess."

"No, I mean living with someone."

"It's not all that different from living with Mom or Kara."

"Oh, come on."

"Really."

"So she's more like a family member than a girlfriend?" she asked.

"We're fine. She takes care of the cooking and cleaning and I…I care about her."

Lois started to say something and then shook her head, leading the way out the door.

sss

"You want some advice, Smallville?" Lois asked as she peeled the paper off her muffin.

"Advice on what?"

"Love. You've been brooding ever since I brought up you know who. I'm going to pass on what the General told me about love."

That brought an almost-smile to his face but he was still a little moody. "Do I really want to hear this?"

"This is a piece of wisdom that's been passed on to generation after generation in the Lane family. You ready? You know you're in love when you're willing to use the other person's toothbrush without even thinking about it. The question you have to ask yourself, Smallville, is would you use Lana's toothbrush?"

He finally smiled. "Have you ever used a guy's toothbrush?"

"No, which only proves my point. Look at how all my relationships turned out."

"I know someone who's proven that he loves you. I guess there is some truth to it."

Her face darkened. "Don't remind me. I want to strangle that mutt every time I think about it."

He laughed. "You're the one who left your toothbrush on the counter."

"How was I supposed to know he can't tell the difference between a toothbrush and a chew toy? Well, as much fun as this has been, Smallville, I have to get to work and if you hurry, Lana won't have to read that note."

Clark looked at her surprised. If Lana got to the note first, it might start a fight the way things had been going lately and Lois hadn't been around either of them. She had a sixth sense about the truth. It was no wonder she was so hard to fool on April Fools. Chloe was too, but Chloe didn't come up with evil April Fools' jokes like Lois did. He was going to try one more time.

"Would you believe it's 9:30 already?"

"That was so lame it might have worked if I hadn't just glanced at the clock, but you get an A for effort. Listen, just so you know I'm here if you ever need anything. Not that I like you or anything," she added with a smile and then she started to walk away.

"I don't like you either," he called out.

She turned back around to face him but kept moving. "Then we agree it's a mutual dislike."

Once she was out the door, he said under his breath, "April Fools."

The End

"April 1st: This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three-hundred and sixty-four." — Mark Twain


End file.
